Starting in high school, romantic relationships get more serious as the individuals in them grow and mature.

Everyone hopes that they’ll have a happy and healthy relationship, but that isn’t always the case. Sometimes the hardest thing to decipher when you’re in a relationship is whether it is toxic or not.

Since most high schoolers are in their first relationships, it can be hard to identify toxicity. 

HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS:

There are a lot of aspects that make a relationship healthy.

• Equality: There should be a sense of equality between both partners. When both people see each other as equals, there isn’t the problem of one believing they are better than the other.
• Respect: Respect is a huge aspect to have a healthy relationship. If the couple doesn’t respect each other’s boundaries, views, and wishes, then there can be turmoil in the relationship. According to raisingchildren.net.au, “Respectful relationships allow teenagers to feel valued and accepted for who they are.”
• Communication: Communication can make or break a relationship. If you have good communication, it can help you grow closer as a couple and make you feel more comfortable with each other. The University of Alabama Counseling Center states that, “You should feel comfortable expressing your thoughts, ideas, and feelings. You should be able to agree to disagree in a constructive way.”
• Trust/Honesty: Trust and honesty are important because you should be able to trust your partner. Without trust, the relationship can be strained. When people in relationships are honest with each other, they build a trusting foundation to help grow their relationship. “Trust is important in relationships because it allows you to be more open and giving. If you trust your partner, you are more likely to be forgiving of their shortcomings or behaviors that irritate you because overall you believe in them and know they have your back,” states Verywell Mind.
• Support: Support is essential in a relationship. For example, if one partner plays a sport, then the other should come and watch their games. Same thing goes for the person who plays sports, they should support what the non-sports player does. It’s all about balance and making time for the other person.

TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS:

Being in a toxic relationship is at times hard to spot and at others it is hard to walk away from because you care for that person. According to DoSomething.org, “1 and 3 young people will be in an abusive or unhealthy relationship.” Domestic Violence Services, Inc., “33% of adolescents in America are victim to sexual, physical, verbal, or emotional dating abuse.”

• Dishonesty: Dishonesty is a huge part of a toxic relationship. If there is no trust in a relationship, it can be hard to have a strong foundation. The more lies someone tells you, the least likely you are to trust them. Trust is a huge thing in any relationship, whether it’s romantic, platonic, or family related, and without it, you can lose faith in the person
•  Manipulation: Manipulation is a major red flag in a relationship. According to GoodTherapy, “Manipulation can deteriorate the health of a relationship and lead to poor mental health of those in the relationship or even the dissolution of the relationship. In (a) partnership, manipulation can cause one partner to feel bullied, isolated, or worthless.” Manipulation comes in many forms including mind games, using guilt to force someone into doing something, and convincing a partner to ignore their wants and needs. 
• Constant fighting: An obvious example of a toxic relationship is constant fighting. It’s normal to have arguments with a partner every once in a while, but if it turns into a routine, it’s become toxic. In a healthy relationship, an argument should not last long because the two partners talk things out and make up. In a toxic relationship, the fighting doesn’t stop and it can be over the littlest things.